As I sit here pondering over my past life and the struggles I’ve had. My heart hasn’t always been opened to God. In fact, I’ve had seasons where it seemed that He wasn’t there. Then, I’ve had seasons where God seemed to be everywhere. What am I saying? God has always been there with me, but I was too distracted to see Him. I ignored His whispers, His presence, and His stirrings. I went my way, and did what was right in my own eyes.(Judges 21:25).
The Darkest Hour!
Several years ago, I stopped praying to God. I became disgruntled about ministry, and how the wicked seemed to prosper. Yes, I called myself a, ‘Christian.’ I went to church, Bible study, visited the sick, and to the shelters, but my heart was far from God. On the outside, I had it all together. Many people were fooled by my religious attitude. Except on the inside I was hurting. I wasn’t bearing any fruit. How many of you know that no one is perfect? No one has the monopoly on, ‘Christianity.’ Friends we are nothing without God. In fact, we stink without God. I offered up, ‘strange fire’ unto God. In some translations, it’s called, ‘profane fire.’ Nevertheless, it isn’t good fire.
The Darkest Hour!
After my, ‘seven year hiatus,’ the Holy Spirit sent a Prophet to tell me , “Repent.” She didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her. Wow! Talk about, ‘divine intervention.’ With great boldness she continued, “God has called you to intercede to others.” After that night, I wanted to run and hide. I spent so many years rebelling against God that I forgot, how to pray. What would I say to Him? I wondered, if He’d talk to me.
Give Him Your Heart
When I decided to repent, tears fell down my face, tongues began to flow, and Jesus touched my heart. For the first time in years, I cried like a baby. I need to point out that this was my, “Darkest hour.” I knew, that if I hadn’t repented of my sins, my life would hang in the balance. I knew too much about God. I tasted of His power. I saw Him perform miracles in my life. Yet, I allowed Satan to destroy me. However, God came and caught me before I died in my stupor. Thank you God. God is faithful. He didn’t hold my ignorance, or sins against me.
The word of the Lord tells us, “Harden not your hearts, as in the day of provocation, as in the day of temptation in the wilderness. (Ps. 95:8) When the prophet came to me, and told me how I sinned against God my flesh wanted to reject His word. Not the prophet’s word-God’s word. I didn’t know this woman, but God knew me. He didn’t want me to go to hell. Thank you Lord!!!
He wanted my heart, and through His gentle stirrings I gave my heart to Him. If you’re reading this and you’re lost, or on the verge of giving up, feeling discouraged, and fearful of the future-come to Jesus.
He’s faithful and just to forgive your sins, and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. (1John. 1:9) God is faithful to his word and covenant. God sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. He promised Jesus His son, that through Him the world is saved. Friend’s come to Jesus. You don’t have power to save yourself. You can’t change your habits by yourself. You need the help of Jesus. For years, I thought that I was fine, but I wasn’t.
Sometimes, we feel that we got where we are because of ourselves. Don’t listen to that dirty little lie. Pride is a dangerous enemy to us. Pride takes our eyes and hearts from Jesus. It steals our destiny, and leaves us hopeless. God has a bigger plan for our lives. Return to God, and keep the lines open between you and God. Come back to him.
Enjoy His presence and don’t forget to share this with others.
- The Forgetful Servant (sharinhislove.wordpress.com)