Chapter 3: EMPOWERED

There were signs something was wrong: the dirty looks, the grunts, the anger and the mumbles. But I never imagined that writing the words’ “Am I My Sister’s Keeper, ” on the board would send the ladies in a tailspin. In the previous post, “Learning to Say No,” a young woman attacked another young woman for giving her food stamps to her cousin. She couldn’t imagine herself being her sister’s keeper. Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen among women.

It doesn’t matter how old they are, or what color they are many refuse to help each other. In fact, if they don’t see how helping is going to benefit them they don’t help. Now some of you may read this and think, “That isn’t true,” well I see this everyday. As I work with women from all walks of life, I’ve noticed that many women find it hard to say no to men and family. In fact, many of my clients stayed in an abusive relationship because they were afraid that the men would kill them or their children. Domestic abuse is a serious matter, and domestic victims are our friend’s, mother’s, sister’s, etc. Our goal at Sheffield Place is to empower women to succeed in life by giving them the necessary tools to survive.


Marisa, a beautiful young woman who I’m not going to reveal her real name feels that it’s easier to say no to other people except her boyfriend. She wants to feel loved, and doesn’t want him to leave her. She fears that he may stop talking to her altogether if she says, “no.” Her boyfriend sells drugs, and he’s been in jail twice. Last year, he took her rent money, and bought drugs. Then he brought the drugs home and offered her some, and she started smoking meth to please him.

The key point here is to empower women to make healthy choices. I believe, that God wants that for these women. It’s important to remember that women don’t have to stay in abusive relationships. Many of them love their men, but they need to love themselves more. Some women ignore their feelings because they don’t think they matter. In the movie, “The Color Purple,” Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah Winfrey were standing out in a corn field and Whoopi says, “Trouble won’t last always…this life be over soon. Heaven last always.” Well, for most of my clients trouble lasted 15 years and more because they were afraid to say,”No.” Whoopi couldn’t empower Oprah because her husband abused her.

In conclusion, if we can get women to see how valuable they are then we can empower them. Women we need to learn that we are our,” sister’s keeper.” It’s important to remember that we teach what we learn to others. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. Many stay in broken relationships because mom-ma did the same. Ladies let’s empower our sister’s!

Winfrey as Sofia in The Color Purple.
Winfrey as Sofia in The Color Purple. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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