I know that its been awhile since we last talked. As my website title reads, “Janiese Reveals His Heart,” I can’t share His heart if there isn’t a word to utter. I want to write God’s truth according to His word and not my philosophies or ideologies.
There’s a lot of blogs written with worldly wit and not enough of Godly wisdom. For those of you who are reading my posts for the first time, I’d like for you to go back to the beginning of my series, “Am I My Sister’s Keeper?” Today’s post is a continuation. Thank you.
I am the oldest of nine, and I have four sisters and four brothers whom I love very much. The sister that comes behind me in birthing order is my best friend. As children growing up we shared a bedroom, gumballs, lemon-heads and snicker bars. We fought over socks and underwear too! We played Barbie dolls for hours, and we talked about getting married and having children.
Last week, we had a family meeting and my sister blurts out,”I don’t understand why we’re not close. We were close growing up…what happened to us? OMG! It hurt me to the core. WAIT! I’m getting ahead of myself. When my sister was five and I was nine she’d grab gum off of the ground, and eat it. It didn’t matter if someone had it in their mouth. Often I yelled, “Please spit that out…that’s nasty!” Sometimes, she’d walk in our neighbor’s yard and fall into their Cactus plant.
Usually, she’d cry and I fuss while removing the sharp pieces of the plant from her skin. The more I told her to stay out of the neighbor’s yard, the more she played in their yard. My job was to keep her safe and protect her from danger.
When I went off to college at 20, I left my best friend behind. I didn’t think about how it affected her until last week. At the time that I went off to school, she couldn’t distinguish between fantasy and real. My mother told me that she had Schizophrenia. What is that, I thought. I lost my friend between two different worlds. When I came home for the Holidays, she wanted to play Barbie dolls. I grew up, and started dating. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t listen to my college stories, or my crazy dates.
I Didn’t Think About Her Feelings…….
The lemon-heads that we shared in the summer became a lost memory for me, I moved on. In fact, I don’t think that I was nice to her back then. I became very busy and made other friends. It’s amazing what people hold in their hearts against each other.
All of these years, I acted rude, and impatient because I felt guilty. I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t understand what she was going through. When my sister asked me those questions, I started crying. Then she began crying.
We spent an hour talking about our differences, and we both apologized to each other. I would just say that God gave me a precious gift-Sisterhood.