Blue Moon


It was our tenth anniversary& I was celebrating at Blue Moon with my man Reuben, Santos, Jerome& Steve all friend’s since elementary. Reuben would take me with them on the weekends to show me off to these guys.

Each one of them had a different lady every weekend except for Reuben. Reuben and I were inseparable. It been that way since high school, and we loved each other.  I lost my virginity to this fine dark strong man (Reuben) in the back seat of his daddy’s truck on a cold, snowy night. At age 15, we had our first child, Lena. He married me at age 16 against my mom ma’s wishes. Hmm! She couldn’t resist his smile and deep voice. All the women couldn’t resist my Reuben, but he was mine- All Mine! All night we laughed and danced to the rhythms of Sade and Ledisi.  We danced and Reuben did all sorts of nasty tricks to me on that dance floor.Then Reuben bought two rounds of drinks for everyone at the table.

He gave me a warm kiss on my mouth because he knew I was worrying about our money. I hated being broke after we partied all night.  We partied until they threw us out, and the owner Sly Jones threatened to call the cops on Santos and  Jerome for starting a fight with a bouncer. My Reuben knew Sly from long ago and he made a deal that Sly couldn’t resist. Reuben knew how to talk people into anything he wanted them to do. Hmm! I guess, that’s how I lost my virginity.  He talk me right out my panties, and I didn’t care.

We waved good night to Jerome, Steve, Santos and there lady friend’s. Reuben had to help Santos to his car because he kept falling all over the place. As long as we’ve known Santos it didn’t take much for him to get drunk. Then we got into our car and drove home. On the way home we cuddled and held hands lost in the hard liquor and intoxicated with love. We laughed and talked about the night events.  The snow came down heavier and it was hard to see.  Reuben turned on the defroster, and the windshield wipers.  Then he wiped the window with the palm of his hand.  I started wiping off my window on my side.

Then it happened……

An 18 wheeler out of nowhere was speeding fast coming toward us. The truck couldn’t stop and it  lost control. Reuben tried to keep the car steady but the force of the truck collided into us pushing us around and  around.  I called Reuben’s name, but he didn’t answer.The airbag from the steering wheel buried him.  We kept  spinning and spinning. I hit my head into the windshield. I couldn’t feel my legs..I couldn’t feel anything.  My head was pounding from the impact of me hitting the window. When I looked out the front window, I saw where the road was coming to an end. I reached for the steering wheel, but realized it was jammed.  It wasn’t moving.  I tried to reach for the brakes, but I couldn’t feel my feet.

We reached the edge of the road. The car flew in the air- flying, flying, flying and BAM crashed  into a deep ditch. I’m sure I died before we landed.


One Year Later

I’m out of my mind. One minute I’m married, and a  Housekeeper at the Grand Swan Hotel.  A mother of 2 fabulous children, Lola my feisty 10 year old daughter and my 6 year old son, Reuben Jr.  I can’t even move. I’m afraid to speak. Christ.

What is my name?

Kris….no Mary Ann. Oh What’s my name?

I’m standing naked under a bridge in the daytime. How did I get here? Where are my clothes? Oh my God….I don’t even know my name. My head is hurting. What’s wrong with me? Where are my clothes?

A car swerves to keep from hitting me. A man driving by in a truck starts honking at me and he yells out the window, “Move you *itch. Are you crazy?” I stand there in the street DAZED.

I yelled, “I’m not crazy! Don’t you call me crazy!”

It’s as if my head is on fire, and getting  ready to pop off. I’m moaning, my head is spinning. I whisper, “Please somebody help me! Where are my kids?”

I want this pain to stop.

Why won’t it stop? It doesn’t stop. My stomach is hurting, and bile rises up and settles in my throat. I opened my mouth and a horrible taste and smell of vodka spews out everywhere.  It won’t stop coming. The more I bend over the more it keeps coming.

“Maim,” a woman’s voice calls from behind me. “Can I help you?” Then she places a warm blanket around me.

“Can I take you to the hospital?” The nice lady kept pleading and pleading with me.  She was getting on my nerves.  Her voice made me mad.  I wanted her to shut up and leave me alone, but she wouldn’t be quiet.  I must be out of my mind.

The world looks black around me.  I start walking and the lady kept following me. I turned around and a wicked voice came from deep inside of me, “No leave me alone! I don’t want your help!”

As I turned to run, my feet caught up into the blanket and I collapsed head first onto the pavement.  The lady ran over to me and tried to help me up, but all I saw was Red.

Red and Rage took control and I hit that nice woman in her face.  I tried to jack up her face. I hated this woman and she didn’t know why.  I hated her for being white. I hated her for putting my children in CPS.  I hated her for that fatal car accident that killed my Reuben.  My children cried, “Mom ma don’t let them take me! Please mom ma!”


I have no idea what happened next. All I know is that I got up off the ground and put that woman in a  head lock. Literally, it took three men to pull me off of her.  Then the cops came and handcuffed me.  Before reading me my rights, i looked over at the nice woman laying lifeless on the ground.  Paramedics were trying to revive her. I couldn’t even see her face anymore.

In a split second I lost everything! 

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