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I am convinced that most people spend a lifetime trying to find their true self. We find ourselves asking others who we are and never truly knowing our authentic selves. We work endlessly on jobs that aren’t our passions, and call that responsible. I think what we do is please others. We carry a stockpile of regrets, failures, and disappointments in our bodies. It hurts to smile and laugh, so we frown because we don’t want anyone to see our real self. Everyone has an inner child in us waiting to get out and breathe.
I was talked about when I was a girl, and was ridiculed many times because I looked different. At five, my teacher made me sit in my urine because she said that I talked to much.She made me sit in front of a picture that had a little white boy covered, in yellow paint. Every time I said or did something wrong according to her standards, she point and say, “You’re messy just like him. At 7, the kids laughed at me because I had a long pointy nose.
My mother was the first person who told me that I was beautiful. She told me that I had a Barbra Streisand nose, so she showed me pictures of her and I fell in love with her. Life was tough in school for me- I was very eclectic at an early age. My parents let me dress myself, and I’d put colors together in ways that others wouldn’t dream of doing. I got a lot of attention but it wasn’t always nice. My father taught me that I didn’t have to be like others, and that it was alright to be Janiese.
What made me write this post? Well, I want to encourage the inner- You to come out and Breathe. When I was a little girl I couldn’t braid hair, or comb my own hair. In fact, I didn’t learn how to do hair until I turned 40. Yeah interesting huh? It’s amazing how I went through childhood and never knew that I could do hair. My Granny- my mother’s mom would press and curl women’s hair when I was a girl. Women came in her house looking a hot mess, and left looking like a DIVA.
Some of them were married to men that beat on them, and she’d do their hair for free. One time she did a woman’s hair that had Alopecia and she added some hair. I’d sit there in the kitchen on Saturday’s watching her do hair. The conversations they had was funny, and interesting. If the conversation turned too interesting enough for me to repeat something she’d make me leave the kitchen.
I can’t believe my good fortune. I’m grateful that I learned how to do hair. I said this because I want you to find your inner self and learn something new. We’re never too old to learn new skills. I’m so grateful to be a Woman. Hey You this is a new year and a new season to do something that you always wanted to do. Do something that makes you afraid and dare someone to talk about you.
“……..Pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.”