A Girl Anywhere in the USA Volume 1


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A Choreopoem By Janiese Wesley

Dead Deniah

Worthless

no good

You just like Him

You’re never amount to anything

Nothing

Stupid

Idiot

Spitting out foul language

snorting crack

Grabbed the belt off of  one of her John’s pants

Wrapped it around my neck

choking me

Air left my body

Lifeless I laid there

wishing to die

I was just five

The word, “Him” became poison in my mom’s mouth

Infecting me /leaving it’s filthy residue on my heart.

As I grew older

I lost me somewhere between the sheets

I’m just saying, “I never was a little girl.”

It left me looking, wanting any man to fix the void in me.

Mommy let them have me

She’d get high in the other room

I’d scream ,”Mommy please help me!”

She’d yell back at me for not liking it

or distracting her from getting high

I thought, why won’t she look at me?

It’s crazy how she’d listen to BB King and get high at the same time.

Every night I laid awake thinking about, “Him.”

I wished he was here to protect me now

I never knew, “Him.” 

He left before I was potty broke.

Those men left their dirty stench on me

the smell will not pass

Who am I?

I’m no one

just a corpse / a crack heads daughter

My insides were given to the wild birds

I’m their prey

They ate me

I am nothing

Blackbird singing in the dead of the night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

 

It’s your time

Jasmine the Pole Dancer

 

Fall Fashion Thrift-store Haul 2015


I’m a lover of God and Fashion. I’m showing my version of Fashion, my way, my Style, and what works for me. I am different, unique and I am ME. I’ll be back with more Fall Fashion in a couple of weeks.As women we have our own style and n0 two women walk, sit, or talk the same way.That’s the beauty of being a woman.

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Be Blessed

Be Bold

Be Courageous

Be You

I Let You Down


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While sitting in my office  my phone rings.  Frantically, I answer the phone, “Hello… pumpkin how you doing? She breathed heavily into the receiver and shouted, ” I RELAPSED LAST THURSDAY!”

My heart rose to the center of my head… I kept hearing over and over, ” I relapsed last Thursday.”  I leaned back in my chair in unbelief.

In my line of work, relapsing isn’t a good thing. It is a death sentence depending on the person.  I worked so hard to keep her off of the street.  What next?

I thought, “You fool!”  For the first time, I felt useless.  What kind of Case Manager am I? I can’t even keep her off the street!”

I pinched myself and wondered, “Is this real? This is a dream. I’ll see her tomorrow and everything will be fine.”  A tear dropped from the corner of my eyes.  Then a flood of tears came.

She started crying and said, ” I let you down….I’ve been clean five years. Look at me now.”

  • I’m thinking, ” It’s your fault.  You didn’t go to the CAG meetings. You didn’t see the Therapist, and you barely saw me……Your Case Manager!”

Feeling guilty at the fact that I’m thinking this way. I’m not thinking about her. I’m worried about my ego, and the agency.    Then I thought, ” What would I want someone to say to me?”

I said, ” No! No! You didn’t let me down! Everyone makes mistakes. Can you come see me today?”

Her crying stopped.

I couldn’t hear anything.

One more time I asked, “Can you come see me today? We love you.”

Still sobbing she answers, ” I’ll be there in an hour!”

A Preacher’s Daughter


wpid-25d6386398fd0135990fee67d4215d29.jpg   A Preacher’s Daughter

A Poem of Pain

Written by : Janiese Wesley

On my eighteenth birthday

I left home with a backpack on my shoulders.

It was 12 midnight-

I jumped out the window and ran down the hill.

A Preacher’s Daughter

With no regrets of my childhood. I wanted to express myself so I told the world,

I’m ready to explore- so I ran away.

Escaped on the back of a white truck with a man that I didn’t even know.

He showed me the world of cyber space, chat lines, and pornographic pictures.

A Preacher’s Daughter

Womanhood called me and I ran to her.  She held me close and stretched her arms wide around me.She rocked and cradled me with hard liquor, weed and PCP. We danced all night like crazy lovers wishing that the party would never end.. Soon a day turned into 3 days and 3 days became 2 weeks.

A Preacher’s Daughter

Drunk in Lust and high from whatever potion the man cooked on his kitchen stove. He told me his penis was magic and I believed him. I’m eighteen and he gave me LIFE. One day our adventure stopped. We stopped at a Truck Stop. Our adventure ended cause he paid 5 truckers to perform a TRAIN on me.

A Preacher’s Daughter

That day I looked in his eyes for validation, love and hope.  But his eyes were hollow like somebody drained life out of him. I cried, “Mamma!” He said,” Hush girl yo mamma can’t do nothing for you now!” Visions of my mamma scolding me on the day I left was only a memory now.

A Preacher’s Daughter

Oh I wish she was here.  If I could hear her hollering at me or saying something- anything but this.

My soul left my body. I laid lifeless on that dark, dirty meat truck floor. ALONE

They stole my innocence-

Now I’m blue bruised…RUINED