Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t. Author unknown
Bitter Women Chronicles: Volume 1 began the moment I went into Social Services four years ago. One evening I grabbed a notebook and pen and wrote down the thoughts I heard in my head. The women I’d seen in my dreams became real every day women I worked with. Many come from different walks of life.As I jotted down my thoughts, It didn’t matter how much education they had, if they had kids, were married, single, poor, rich, or middle class. What they all had in common was: They’re all women. My words flowed like rain on a cloudy cold day. In my line of work, I see many wonderful women who are scared, lonely, uninformed and bitter.
Each woman told me their story, and I wrote it down. No, they aren’t real women, but the stories represent real women around this world. Jasmine the Pole Dancer, and a Girl Anywhere in the USA were born in the journey of this work. These two poems starts the Bitter Women Chronicles: Volume 1. I’d like to mention that I first heard the phrase, “Choreopoem, ” from Ntozake Shange. The author of, “For Colored Girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enough.” Thus, I decided to follow in her footsteps and create poems that come to life. I want the stories to jump off of the page into your souls just like they did mine. Each woman is apart of me.
With no regrets of my childhood. I wanted to express myself so I told the world,
I’m ready to explore- so I ran away.
Escaped on the back of a white truck with a man that I didn’t even know.
He showed me the world of cyber space, chat lines, and pornographic pictures.
A Preacher’s Daughter
Womanhood called me and I ran to her. She held me close and stretched her arms wide around me.She rocked and cradled me with hard liquor, weed and PCP. We danced all night like crazy lovers wishing that the party would never end.. Soon a day turned into 3 days and 3 days became 2 weeks.
A Preacher’s Daughter
Drunk in Lust and high from whatever potion the man cooked on his kitchen stove. He told me his penis was magic and I believed him. I’m eighteen and he gave me LIFE. One day our adventure stopped. We stopped at a Truck Stop. Our adventure ended cause he paid 5 truckers to perform a TRAIN on me.
A Preacher’s Daughter
That day I looked in his eyes for validation, love and hope. But his eyes were hollow like somebody drained life out of him. I cried, “Mamma!” He said,” Hush girl yo mamma can’t do nothing for you now!” Visions of my mamma scolding me on the day I left was only a memory now.
A Preacher’s Daughter
Oh I wish she was here. If I could hear her hollering at me or saying something- anything but this.
My soul left my body. I laid lifeless on that dark, dirty meat truck floor. ALONE
All throughout History women stayed behind the scenes, on the forefront and everywhere in between. In the Bible days, up to 1920 women set quiet in the background, tending to the house,having children, and submissive to their men.
It wasn’t until 1920 that women were able to vote like men, for the first time. I am not one of those people who believe, that I’m not responsible for how I treat others. Nor can I turn away from a sister being screamed at by her man. It’s hard for me to see a woman wearing an outfit that doesn’t do anything for her figure, or wearing make-up that’s wrong for her complexion.
Sometimes, I resist the urge to help a woman wearing an old weave needing a helping hand. I love trying to fix everything around me, and stress out when I can’t. If my grandma was alive I’d ask her two questions like, “How did you survive picking cotton in the hot sun? Or how did great grandma survive life on a plantation?”
At night, I lie awake thinking about ways I help my sisters. As a Case Manager, I’m learning to listen to their stories. It doesn’t matter what color they are, or what background they came from. She’s my sister and she has a story to tell.
For this reason, I’m dedicating the next few posts to my sisters all over the world. I don’t care where they came from, what their sexual preferences are, or their race. We’re all women with amazing stories.
Follow me on this journey about amazing women, and please respond. Thanks Be Blessed!
P.S. If you haven’t read the story, “My Sister’s Keeper,” you should. It’s an excellent story of how two sister’s loved each other through sickness.
I know, that it’s been awhile since we last talked. I apologize for that. Here’s a brief update of what God is doing in me. God has blessed me with favor on my job. This past February, I received a promotion as Outpatient Case Manager at a women’s shelter. It’s amazing. I’m working with women and their children everyday. I haven’t walked in their shoes, but they’re teaching me that determination is the key. Well, I must brag on God for a minute. Wait a minute….let me get my praise on. (laugh)
When God blesses us, he does well. He doesn’t half do anything. In the past few months, I’ve shared Psalms 91. I’ve shared a few testimonies about God’s protection and why we should partner with him. In God, there’s a secret place. A place of rest and assurance that he’ll take care of us.
Today God is allowing me to conclude this series with a word of encouragement. Many of you heard about the Boston blasts. No one can find who did it. The media is saying that the injuries are like war wounds. USA Today shows a women kneeling in prayer after the first explosion. This is what everyone needs to do. PRAY!!
People, this is enough to cause fear and panic. President Obama stated, “We’ll get down to the bottom of this.” We can’t do anything without the Lord. Satan crept in unaware and no one saw him. God allowed this to happen. He’s trying to get our attention. America was celebrating. It took us by surprise…nobody expected this to happen. What’s my point? America needs to pray like never before. I believe, that God is trying to get our attention.
In your spare time please follow the link above and share this with others. It will bless you and give you hope.
An Encouraging Word
The Lord is our shelter in the time of the storm, bombs, war, death, and famine, etc.
Ps.91 reminds us, that we don’t have to fear, or worry because “God is for us!”
Verse 9-12 is a promise from God that clearly states, “If we make him our refuge, our God and shelter no evil will conquer us. No plague will come nigh our dwelling. God assigns angels to protect us and keep us safe. Will you pray today? Will you trust God?
“Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day.”
Did you know that terror, arrows, pestilence, and destruction came from satan? However, God can deliver us from them all. Satan aims his deadly arrow at the hearts of God’s people to destroy us. But the Bible reminds us that, “it will not destroy the righteous.” Ps.11:2. God sees and knows all things. He will protect us from the cunning hatred of men, heresies, and temptations. Although satans shoots his arrow, it will not destroy us. That’s why it’s important to say to the Lord, “You are my refuge and fortress. I trust in you Lord.” Ps. 91: 2
Years ago, my grandmother sang a song called, “I shall not be Moved.” Read these words,
I shall not
I shall not be moved
Just like a tree thats planted by the water
I shall not be moved.
As christians, I encourage you to trust in God. Whatever comes your way please know that your life is in the hands of God. You’re probably wondering, why am I talking this way? I’ve seen how satan comes after the saints of God to destroy our purpose and destiny. Several years ago, I taught preschool in a rural area of Mississippi. As lead teacher, I had a teacher’s assistant who worked closely in the classroom. Everytime, I asked her to help control the children, write Lesson plans, or teach, she’d ignore me. This wasn’t a one time event. Actually, this happened everyday for a year. Finally, I decided to ask her if I’d offended her, and to my surprise she asked, “What do you mean by this? I don’t want to talk to you.” She stomped out of the room, and she didn’t come back until an hour later. Have you noticed how some people can really get under your skin?
I tried talking to the Principal, but she felt that I wasn’t listening to my co-worker. For the whole school year, the other teacher’s laughed at me, and mocked me. One day my co-worker decided to talk to me, and in a southern drawl she explained, “Wesley you’re not from here, and you talk different. You got my job! I’m supposed to have that job, but I ain’t got my degree yet!”
I thought, “Finally she speaks, but I wasn’t prepared for this!” This was crazy, so I asked, “Is this why you treat me this way? Why didn’t they give my job to you instead of hiring me?” I had never had this happen to me before.
Then the next thing she said took my breath away and not in a good way. Her voice grew louder, and her eyes grew dark, dark. Then she said, “…..there you go again asking questions. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you let things be?”
Then the conversation went sour. Instead of me praying, I told her what I thought about her and Mississippi. In otherwords, I told her where to stick it (If you know what I mean). Now, I didn’t use profanity, but I said enough. Let’s just say that we had an understanding. Guess what? The rest of the year went downhill. At the end of the year, the Principal gave me a horrible evaluation, and she told me that she gave my job to my Co-worker. She didn’t fire me, but she demoted me! I wondered, “On what grounds?” She informed me that I wasn’t from Mississippi, and my teaching style wasn’t what she needed.
Wow! That arrow was sharp and it literally destroyed my feelings. Satan came after my character. God, however, reminded me that, “I wasn’t fighting against people, but against evil forces.” (Ephesians 6:12) Did I mention that, “arrows of darkness,” can mean several things?” At the beginning, I said that, God will protect us from cuning hatred, heresies, and temptations. The amazing thing about God is that He helps us even if we are stubborn. In my situation, I allowed my flesh to take control. I believe, if I prayed sooner God would’ve protected me from embarrassment. I failed to trust God and stand on Faith. Remember if we’re walking with God, He will protect us from public scandals, calamity and destruction.
Some of you are asking, “Will God protect us from natural disaster, polluted water, contaminated food, germ warfaare and chemical warfare?” Yes the Bible tells us in , Mark 16: 17-18 that, “These signs will accompany those who believed….if they drink any deadly poison it will not them.”
Before I begin, I must say that these next few posts aren’t for God haters, or blasphemers of the Holy Spirit. For the Bible tells us that they’ll have no place in heaven. (Mark 3:29) One of he exciting things about God is that whatever your belief systems are, God loves you anyway. In spite, what you think Jesus is consistently doing three amazing things. First, he’s standing at your door (heart) knocking, and if you hear, open the door, and He’ll come in. (Revelations 3:20)
I’m encouraging the men and women of God who’ve lost their light to get their passion for Christ back. Those of you who don’t know Jesus, I’m encouraging you to get to know Him for yourselves. The fact, that Jesus is waiting on you and I isn’t unusual. He loves us so much that He’s willing to WAIT! That’s why he died on the cross for our sins. Are you lost, depressed, and confused? Do you have Rest, and needing to find Shelter? I’m not talking about going to sleep or going on a long vacation. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. Listen! What do you think about resting in the Lord?
Last year I dreamed that a terrible storm fell upon our nation, and many people went underground for safety. Those that went underground drowned in the dark, flooded waters. During natural storms, it’s typical to find a hiding place for safety. Sometimes, we take cover underground, or in a closet. However, in my dreams, the people needed to go up to the Higher grounds. Some may think, “I’ll die if I go up higher!” In my dream, the ones that went higher found safety in God. When I woke up, I started crying. I didn’t want to lose my life. Immediately, I started repenting and praising God.
The word dark means, “to make dark; obscure without light.” Job 12:25 describes a man who walked in darkness. The scripture reads:
They grope in the dark without light, and he maketh them to stagger like a drunken man.
This scripture describes how a man without light wakes up in darkness. My God I cried like a baby. In my dream, the ones that went underground staggered into the water like a drunk person. Sin will make us sick and drown our destiny.
So Where Do You Live?
When we find ourselves in a storm, the natural response is to run, hide, or find shelter. Let’s find safety in God. (Psalms 91:1) Are you living in God or in yourself?
He who dwells in the secret place of the most high, shall abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
If we go higher in our thinking we can find shelter in God. You maybe asking, “What do you mean by higher thinking? Are you talking about a higher power?”
No, I don’t believe in a higher power because it strips God of his name. God is, “I Am!” The words ‘higher thinking’ means, “Asking Jesus to come into your heart.” Only through Jesus Christ will you find rest. In Jesus, you can find a secret place. A place that will hide you from the effects of the storm.
As a little girl growing up, I heard my Grandma singing this song at church. She’d sing this song while playing on the Piano. I hated this song. Thirty years ago, it was a slow song with a dry beat that seemed to drag on forever. Now Aretha Franklin’s version is a little upbeat. However, it’s the same song. I know, that I’m rambling. Listen to me
O.k. I admit that I didn’t understand the words to this song. Several months ago, I was driving in my car, and the first verse came to my mind. Startled, I began to hum the tune. I wondered, where did that come from. Has that ever happened to you before? It isn’t a popular song. In fact, when I asked my aunt and my mom they laughed. My mom said, “Wow I haven’t heard that song in a long time.”
My aunt said, “What…I don’t know that song.” Well, I kept bugging her until she told me to call her sister and ask her.” When I called her, she rattled the words to the song… like a waterfall it refreshed my spirit. It’s amazing how God will bring songs of deliverance to us during hard times. Horatio R. Palmer wrote the song, “Yield Not To Temptation,” in 1868.
I’m sure he didn’t know that this song would travel the world like it has. God is bigger than any man or devil. We are in the last hour guys. God will soon come back. James 4: 7 says, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Sometimes, we need God to remind us to live Holy.In our culture, there’s a lot that pulls us away from God and His light. We’re looking for enlightenment, satisfaction, wealth, love, in the wrong places. If we don’t look for Jesus, we’ll fall into temptation. I hope, that this song will be a blessing to you. It has blessed me.
Yield Not To Temptation
Yield not to temptation, for yielding is sin;
Each victory will help you some other to win;Fight manfully onward, dark passions subdue;Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through,
Ask the Savior to help you,Comfort, strengthen, and keep you;He is willing to aid you,He will carry you
Shun evil companions, bad language disdain,
God’s name hold in reverence, nor take it in vain;
Be thoughtful and earnest, kindhearted and true;
Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.To him that overcometh God gave a crown,
Through faith we will conquer, though often cast down;He who is our Savior, our strength will renew;
Look ever to Jesus, He’ll carry you through.
– Horatio Palmer 1868
“When the world tries to make you dance to their tune, don’t give in. Instead, be true to God that created you, stand tall, and you’ll win every time.” -Janiese Wesley
Creation: In The Beginning Part 1 In the Beginning, God spoke and a powerful movement began. The Free Dictionary describes the word, “movement” as, “the act or instance of moving; a change in place or position.” God started a movement, or a trend to show us how we can speak to our situations.
The word, “trend” refers to,” a general direction in which something tends to move.” Back when I was a girl, my parents took my siblings and I to Walt Disney World for a Summer vacation.
For one week we lived in a luxurious Condo at Walt Disney World. We spent our mornings visiting theme parks, and in the evenings we played on the beach. Amazing! Before that time, I’d never seen a beach, or the state Florida.
Fabulous malls, shops, sand, and water for miles made us dance with glee. Even the trees were majestic, green, and from their branches hung oranges. OMG!
Imagine, how we felt, when my father announced, “It’s time to go home!” We fussed and complained. As we left Orlando, no one said a word. With our heads bowed, our hearts were heavy, for leaving such beauty. I asked my parents, “Say, are there beaches in heaven?” My parents chuckled, and my father said, “Yes, I believe that, there are beaches in heaven.”
Then my momma added, “I believe, that God wants us to see a little bit of heaven right now.” In our young minds, Orlando was heaven on earth. After that moment, my life changed. I wanted to do something great for God. I knew, God inspired Walt Disney to create beauty. I bet, he didn’t know that one idea would make him filthy rich.
Im amazed at how God spoke and created you and I. Beloved, we’re on His mind, and He carries us in His heart. We’re destined for greatness! In other words, we reflect His glory.